The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)
Do you like fun? Then stop reading and hit the “Get Tickets” button right now. Scroll down a bit, you’ll find it.
Do you like fun but still want to hear the sales pitch? Then here’s a list of just some of the things you will receive if you buy your tickets now:
--All 37 of Shakespeare’s plays boiled down into simple, easy-to-digest chunks, perfect for anyone who didn’t learn to speak English in 1592, all performed by only three actors who sometimes even know their lines!
--A 30-second Hamlet that still manages to keep the sex, insanity, and gore. Fun for the whole family!
--Freshy baked severed-head pie. Yum!
--Colton Dennis, Rob Hypes, and Joe Hypes performing together on the same stage! Don’t know who they are and why that’s a selling point? Buy your tickets now to find out!
--Ridiculous costume changes happening ridiculously quickly. Ridiculously amusing!
--Definitive proof that football is much more interesting when regicide is a legal play.
--Two forty-something identical twin brothers playing the most famous teenage lovers of all time! There are whole websites dedicated to that sort of thing, so somebody must want to see it.
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) has all this and more, so if you like fun but needed a sales pitch to push you over the edge, stop reading, scroll down, and get your tickets now!
And now, here we are. At the final paragraph. If you haven’t scrolled down and purchased your tickets yet, it must mean that you simply do not enjoy having fun. We see you, and we feel for you. The inability to enjoy the humorous aspects of life is a tragic but all-to-common affliction in modern America. Thankfully, we have a solution. Simply scroll down and hit the Get Tickets button today to experience laughter and reintroduce yourself to the simple joys of life. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) is guaranteed to cure you of your lack of fun, without fail, not medical advice, no refunds will be given!
Note on pricing: if you happen to notice this paragraph in your mad dash for tickets—or if you just scrolled back up because you’re confused by the pricing—here’s the explanation:
The difference between $10, $15, and $20 tickets, in terms of what you get, is nothing whatsoever. It’s general admission seating no matter which tickets you buy. But for us, it can make all the difference in the world. Merced Shakes is a non-profit theatre company, which means we exist on the generosity of our patrons, and Phoenix Creative Collective is a passionate group of theatre artists, which means they are poor and doing what they do out of love for the arts community. If $10 is the right price point for you, then that’s what you should spend. But if you’re feeling generous and can afford a little more, we would genuinely appreciate it.
Thank you and enjoy the show.
Performance dates and times:
Friday, April 4 at 7:30 PM
Saturday, April 5 at 7:30 PM
Sunday, April 6 at 2:00 PM
Friday, April 11 at 7:30 PM
Saturday, April 12 at 7:30 PM
Sunday, April 13 at 2:00 PM
All performances held in the Black Box at The MAC, 645 W. Main Street in Merced.
This is a family-friendly show (mostly), but probably not great for young kids who get restless easily. Run time is around 2 hours including a 15 minute intermission.